Everyone at the Gym IS Looking at You…..

Growing up on Long Island I naturally had a few traits  hard-coded into my DNA, one of the the most prevalent : Bagels rule the Morning! It’s rare that you travel more then a mile of local streets (yes, even across the Suffolk farm land) without seeing a sign shouting  that bagels were baked for the taking. They have this unique skill of bringing people together and I’d be lying to you if I didn’t mention their knack for beginning religious “bagel” wars within a tight knit group of friends(the amount of time I’ve spent arguing about the perfect salt ratio on an everything is something I never want to know).  The local bagel shop is a community in it’s own, people who may have never crossed paths are labeled “the regulars” and meet for a coffee, newspaper and everything in-between.

Alright, now if your still here and not hopping in the car for a toasted everything with cream cheese we can stop talking about eating carbs and focus on the burning part. Being part of a Gym is very much like being a Long Island bagel enthusiast, if your consistent with your times and days you’ll quickly see your “regular crew” begin its formation. The interesting thing about a traditional gym that makes it unique in this category of “group gathering spots” is its perceived rules of engagement. See, generally a forum (of whatever kind) encourages interaction, but the traditional gym? I have to say it’s more of a walk back to primitive times, where we communicated with head nods, grunts and the occasional finger points. It’s perplexing that you can see a person consistently over the span of a year (or two, or six) and communication is many times non-existent. Frequenting the gym several times a week could mathematically mean you’ll see these people more over a year then your parents or siblings (in most cases), yet you don’t say a word. You learn about someone strictly through daily observation, you build their character in your head with an imperfect vision of the type of person they are, all in complete and utter silence (OK, Taylor Swift may be blasting in your headphones but you get what I’m saying) . Ohh, and we observe alright.

For as much as you’re “working” at the gym,  there’s often a fair amount of downtime. In-between sets, water breaks, the battle to catch the perfect (and very discouraged) Instagram  #fitspo  selfie. But what are you doing with that extra time not allotted to the list above?  Simply put, your watching others. Consciously or subconscious, it’s happening. Humans are hard-wired for curiosity, seeking and gathering information has been crucial to our survival. And what can be more important to survival then observing other humans at the watering hole of buffness.

This topic brings me back to one of the best movies of our generation…. Mean Girls (or as some call it “The Reference Guide to Life”). That scene where the four “It” girls are walking to the watering hole fountain at the mall, all of a sudden primal instincts take over just as if they were back in the African Savanna and chaos ensues. Working out in the common gym these days is a constant game of utilizing a series of quick glances, advanced mathematical mirror angles, and deception (pretending to be on your phone but really just watching through a Snapchat filter) just to see what your fellow gym goer is up to. It’s just human nature, so if you’re a new member of a fitness establishment……Yes, people are looking at you as much as your looking at them (don’t think I was gonna forget that part…it’s a two-way street).

I for one am guilty of it everyday, not for reasons of comparison but really for curiosity and interest. If I see something new, I’ll slowly gravitate in that direction until I can elaborately reverse engineer the move (and intention),  just like a 13 year old asking for the origin of a word (I don’t understand) at the National Spelling Bee. Wasn’t always like that tho, I’ve caught myself playing the comparison game at this mall gym watering hole.  Realize that everyone’s playing the same game and it’s all a psychology waste of time (and brain cycles) to compare yourself to people(you don’t talk to) with different goals(you have no understanding of). Especially for gym newcomers, its good to be a constant observer, you’ll be more comfortable and learn from a fire hose of different routines and philosophies. As for the constant gym goers…this is your home turf, your comfortable and confident. Shake things up ,you have the ability to learn a new workout a day(or week) if you step-up your gym-stalk game. A funny thing happens when you ask a questions, 9 times out of 10 people will help .

So go to the Gym, Park, Field, Class and Do You……Stare! Learn! Ask!….Unless they’re doing this:

Oh Yeah………..