The “Palms Down” Rule
Final minute, the offense settles and begins whipping the ball around the perimeter, our heads followed, as if we were cats tracking a rubber mouse being whirled around a mechanical wheel. We’re up by one but we all know that can change in the blink of an eye. My six teammates and I bark commands, informing one-another of the our ever-changing responsibilities.
“I’m One” – I Shout…Battling for each breath
“Got Two” – I hear behind me….Thank God
The ball continues to snap from stick-to-stick, the echo of rubber skimming the cold plastic reminds us summer was over, a long fall of work awaited. It was cold but who on the field could be thinking of that as the pressure mounted, our senses were firing on all cylinders, I wouldn’t be surprised if we could hear a needle drop atop the soft blades of grass.
30 Seconds, It’s Go-Time. Both sides knew the offense had one good shot in em, a great announcer in great movie once said “Last game of the year Brent, cant hold anything back now“, the dodge came from the high corner and we were in perfect position to defend our net. They found a favorable match-up, attacking one of our short stick defenders, just another day in the office if you ask me. The offender powered a step ahead of his man, and just as any well oiled defense would reply we slid (as if pulled on a string) to our teammates support. I was the second slide, meaning I would cover my sliding teammates responsibility until our defensive unit had recovered as a whole. And bet your ass I was gonna be there.
A common look for any offense is to pass the ball to the area (or open man) that the defense was sliding from. And right on queue the pass came. My eyes widened, slow motion ensued as I saw the ball approaching the man on the crease(right in front of our goal), the man who was now my sole responsibility.
The offender stepped to the pass trying to cut milliseconds off its arrival, he knew what was lurking behind him, he heard the cohesive commands of a combat ready defense over the past 45 seconds. Just as he made contact with the ball my stick powered down leaving no chance the intended connection was made. The ball went ricochet, our unit denied the attackers, we stopped the advancing party, we were on point, and we protected our one goal lead!
But something was off, our opponents were surprisingly content for a squad who’s last offensive was harshly denied by the “Good Guys” (duhh). I drew my attention to the goal, our netminders head was down and stick soon swung to the back of the net as if to swat a heckling wasp. There sat the white pearl ball, mocking our presupposed defensive masterpiece.
Death by Ricochet……..(not literally but you get it)
Honk Honk, All Aboard! The Self-Pity train was here and we had seven guys with first class tickets. My head immediately sunk and – as if the two were a choreographed dance – my palms turned up to meet it. How could a perfectly executed sequence lead to such a feeling of self-defeat?
The whistle screeched, “DeFranco!……PUT YOUR PALMS DOWN!” howled an authoritative voice from the corner. Unable to even process the request my head shifted to the coaches direction, unintentionally and to my immediate regret I shrugged, as if he were speaking an alien language, in my peripherals – Oh No! My palms were up – Even Higher
“GET OUT!!!”
Well that was fast, in a matter of 15 seconds I went from flawless execution to being kicked out of practice. Freshman Year-Week One was off to a story-book beginning. As I paced off – every neuron I had was working overtime, keeping those palms as far away from the brisk blue sky as humanly possible- Helplessness mounted, as if I were Andy Dufresne just getting sentenced to Shawshank. During my walk of shame, in came the the justification- the lesson to my 43 peers, all relieved not me be in my cleats.
“WE NEED MEN WHO DON’T FEEL SORRY FOR THEMSELVES, SHIT HAPPENS, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO REACT”
I wish I could tell you that was the last time I was called-out for raising my palms to the sky…..I wish I could tell you…
Week after Week, Year after Year I witnessed my peers and I fall victim to our palms taking untimely trips into the air. Just Keep em Down! Such a simple concept on paper, unfortunately there weren’t many efficient ways to bring a cheat sheet out on the field. It’s a very common trait in today’s society for people to lean on the concept of something being “unfair” or “out to get them” once it takes a turn in an unfavorable direction. Just as common, is the simple reality that 9 times out of 10, things aren’t going to play-out how the coach draws them up in the huddle. If that were the case everybody would be living in their dream house, with their dream family, working their dream job (probably no job) and the thousands of pageant answers calling to end world hunger would be a reality.
“Palms Up” isn’t simply a physical reaction, It’s a Mindset. If you decided to count how many times you physically found your palms facing towards the sky in a day you may be able to count on one hand, but start to observe (and reflect on) your mental “Palms Up”. How do you react to a tough situation, a disagreement with a family member, a discouraging email at work, a competing business eating your lunch, spilling some coffee on your pants, stepping in a puddle – ohhhh the self-sorrow! Keeping count of these will most likely entail a brush-up on your Microsoft Excel skills . I’ll save you the time (and brain CPU) and tell you this – your going to face headwinds in just about anything worth doing, plain and simple. Some winds may be stronger and blow from multiple directions, but all that means is it’s time to readjust the sails. You have two options – put those Palms Up or:
Adapt – Pivot – Persevere
We’ll call this the “Palms Down Rule”. It’s an effective and simple way to adjust your mindset from “Poor Little Me” to “Let’s Roll“. Physical and Mental “Palms Up” are strictly prohibited. When you find yourself in a difficult situation accept it for what it is. – Try these steps:
1) Pause & Assess – Is this worth my time (and brain cycles) to address
2) Accept Ownership (Mentally) – “Yes I caught myself feeling sorry for ME”
3) Lean In – Bring a Solution to the Table
4) March Forward – Learn and Move on
These are just some general steps that I personally use to keep from hopping aboard the Self-Pity Train. It’s not bulletproof, some situations hit harder than others (Like Tyson’s legendary knockout of Stu) but the quicker you stop the self-loathing the more powerful you become. After practicing this methodology you’ll find that your default action to feel bad for yourself begins to fade, the mental palms rise less and less. I’ve found this Palms-Down crusade has led me to a happier, healthier, stronger life.
Ten years ago, getting ripped a new one that misty fall morning on the Hudson was the day my palms began to fall. Justified or not, the point was driven home, many times you cannot control what happens but you can always control how you react. It didn’t happen overnight, but today I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt sorry for myself. Can you?
Palms Down People…..Palms Down
