Becoming Master of your Domain – Part II – Overcoming Nerves

“Yo! His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, There’s vomit on his sweater already: Mom’s spaghetti”– A classic! And on repeat in my head as I experienced a technology executive form a Fortune 5 company on stage.  The nonstop shake through the very tip of her fingers, an unsteady frightened voice, and visible rash forming from her jawline to the base of her neck. Five thousand conference attendees sat attune, trying to consume the latest technology updates, but very likely becoming distracted (and singing Lose Yourself in their heads)  by the obvious physical signs of nerves on display.

I know I’ve been there before, dealing with a uncontrollable physical reaction to a psychologically stressful situation, and I bet many of you have too. The question is… Why the hell do we get so worked up, physically and emotionally over things that really don’t matter?

A Nervous Evolution

We should have figured that the nervous system had something to do with us feeling, ummm nervous! It’s pretty well established that humans don’t do things the same way as we used to. When survival and reproduction was the only game in town! Back then, we needed to be on high-alert and stick with the tribe, food was scarce, this was a Pre-Grubhub & Seamless time. Scary Right!

You’ve probably heard of our “Fight-or-Flight” response.  It’s our innate biological response to threatening situations. Once the  imminent threat is identified,  our heart rate increases, the immune system steps-up activity, and hormones (in-particular ones associated with stress) begin to secrete. All in an effort to mobilize energy and prepare for possible injury.  Oh yeah, and all this happens auto-magically, without you doing anything, The nervous system has evolved with this incredible capacity to respond to threats on survival, when presented predators, environmental dangers, or injuries—the body coordinates a set of physiological responses that increases our chances of survival.

Although this survival response involves many biological systems working in cooperation, it’s the brain and the nervous system that own the processing and signaling.  The central nervous system (CNS), is the control center, located in the brain and spine (central, get it!), it’s the place where all information from the rest of our body is interpreted.  Then there is the peripheral nervous system (PNS), which is subdivided into several smaller units. This system is made up of nerves that connect the brain and spinal cord with sensory receptors, muscles, and glands. The PNS regulates both voluntary actions like muscle movement, and involuntary actions like heartbeat, digestion, and hormone secretion.

After millions of years of evolution (dating back to early primates), we gotta be well-oiled survival machines, right?  Definitely! Unless of-course, the threat landscape has drastically changed. Well, modern-day has brought about biological challenges that are quite different from back then. From a standpoint of survival, It’s now WAY more likely to fall victim to a 21th century disease than being  mauled by a saber-tooth. Modern research is indicating that this new threat landscape is heavily psychological, capable of triggering a survival response by thoughts alone, which happen to be drastically more common than physical threats.  Basically we’re in a world that is generally safe and we’re more stressed out than ever.

Ummm,  Is this Bad?

Modern Nerves

We’ve all experienced physiological discomfort as some point or time, discomfort that you could feel flow through your body, your heart beat a little faster, armpits got sweaty, and uncontrollable jitters arose. Whether preparing for a big presentation, being singled out in a group, or listening to your coworkers incredibly stupid political views. This feeling-driven biological response is both good and bad. Good in the sense that it’s natural to feel discomfort when experiencing something new, and as you may have experienced first-hand,  that discomfort disappears as we become comfortable with the once uncomfortable. The bad stems from experiencing a chronic response to the same activity, person or thought- thus triggering an ongoing stress response. Whether it be derived from a co-worker/boss, family member, daily commute, or even self-talk. Studies have shown that both physical and psychological stress can activate the nervous system and create a biological waterfall affect. (1)

Research has pointed out that many of the same regions that process basic survival threats also process threats to social connection. Experiencing an episode of social exclusion, reliving an experience of social rejection, or negative social feedback can trigger a “Fight-or-Flight” response (2). This response has evolved to be short and effective, perfect for dealing with most physical threats we’d come across. But many find themselves dealing with constant –often unconscious – psychological stress.  And when chronic, this threat-related response increases inflammatory activity and has been shown to contribute to the development of various diseases, as well as mortality [3,4].

So how you think, process, frame, and react in your daily life REALLY does matter!  Simple things, such as other people opinions, self talk, preset notions, optimism and pessimism all play a bigger role than you may think.

So What Can You Do? 

Mastering Nerves

Be Aware! Be Present! Understand You!

First off, we’re all in much more control than we may think. These feelings, thoughts and emotions are natural, that’s what makes being alive great! We have the privilege of experiencing All of It! The highs, the lows and the journey in-between. We can’t control 99.99% of the things that happen in this world, but we can control the thing that truly matters, Our Mind.

Information is just information, thoughts are just thoughts, they are neither beneficial or harmful until interpreted. It’s when they enter the “Spin Zone” of our minds this data becomes actionable from a biological standpoint. Being a Master of Your Domain means being able to spin this data in a way that serves you, because frankly, that’s all that truly matters. Some helpful steps:

1. Being Present – When you find yourself feeling a certain way in a moment, become conscious of it
2. Become Mindful – What’s driving this feeling, what’s the trigger, whats the “thing” under the “thing“?
3. Assess – Is it truly worth feeling this way right now,  or is this just a silly overreaction?
4. Detach – You Identified, now it’s time to mitigate! Go for a walk, meditate, practice breathing.

It’s deep self-awareness, and it’s a constant journey, just like life, it is Life. But It’ll only happen by action. by developing a situational awareness,  by feeling your body alter its state and reverse engineering what that just happened. Your thoughts affect you biologically, you can use this as an advantage or keep being bossed around by the sub-conscious you.   It’s not all on the inside though! Your environment plays a critical role too, Part III coming at Ya!